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elhombresombro

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elhombresombro

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Here's a bit about a book I'm writing right now.

Main hero of the novel, Gregory Barrington, is a practicing necromancer. He lives in fictional city Jelgartville in California. Gregory owns a little book store and from time to time he executes and orders for destroying the living dead.
His colleague Jan Grushnitsky (who has a Polish descent) turns to the evil side. Jan is dreaming of conquering the cities, heading an army of zombies. He tries to involve Greg in his plans, but the latter refuse, staying loyal to the ancient codex which demands not to harm the innocents.
Then Jan imprisons Greg in his own house and begins to realize his intentions. He wants to raise the deadmen at one of Jelgartville’s cemeteries and turn them against the citizens, to take control over this city before spread his power all over the coast, and then all over the continent.
Meanwhile Gregory frees himself with a little help from his supernatural friends – she-ghoul named Alice and hobgoblin Duppeldorf. Before leave the house, Jan has put on Greg a spell of silence. It means that if necromancer will tell to any mage or human about the things he knows about Jan – then Greg will immediately die. Now he’s trying to stop Jan only with help of supernatural beings: vampires, demons, cemetery guards, Dark Gods and others.

The other part of story tells about mysterious events among the mages which are living in Jelgartville. One of them, likewise Jan, has turned to evil side and now he’s a Black Mage, whose evil deeds are very filthy and disturbing to the others. He calls himself Morlock Khnart, but nobody knows his real name and abiding-place. While Gregory solves his problem with Jan, the other mages are trying to find and stop Morlock.

By the end of novel only one of these two stories completely ends. Gregory ultimately fights Jan and wins. Jan’s army of dead has been defeated. But the true identity of Morlock Khnart is still unknown, and this villain continues his unholy deeds. This novel is the first tome of the planned series ‘Pleroma’s Paths’.

promo elhombresombro october 14, 2014 17:33
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Спойлерюга ;<

Завязка с заклятьем изящная, да и сам zombie fiction увидеть книгой необычно, имея впечатлений за спиной только от жанровых фильмов.

A few comments:
0. 'Executes orders' without 'and'. Where do those orders come from, by the way?
1. 'Main character', not 'main hero'. Hero -- is the word for, say, war hero, or like that.
2. Grusznicki, not Grushnitsky, or he's not Polish.
3. To realize means "осознавать". Реализовывать -- to implement.
4. To raise the dead, or he intends to raise men only, and not women? (You may use 'dead people', but it's not very English, too).
5. To turn the dead against the citizens only, not the whole population?
6. Before leaving the house.
7. Magician, not mage. Mages -- волхвы.
8. If THE necromancer WOULD tell (or better 'If he TELLS) to any magician or human (well, you suggest that magicains are not humans?) the things (no ABOUT here)...
9. He's trying to stop Jan only with THE help...
10. The other part of THE story...
11. Has turned to THE evil side...
12. 'His evil deeds are very filthy and disturbing to others' means exactly "его ужасные деяния чудовищны и беспокоят граждан" :-).
13. Abiding-place: do take a look at the exact meaning of the word, you'll be surprised.
14. Jan's army IS defeated (if Gregory FIGHTS, and not FOUGHT Jan).
15. Unholy deeds -- sounds quite obsolete and out of style in the context.
16. The novel is the first PART (or VOLUME, but I'd not recommend that: it goes for a physical book rather than a text)...

Sounds quite Ruglish and deserving sadtranslations, my friend... Don't be in such a hurry, it's not that easy to become an English-speaking writer. :-)

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